Hi, my name is Paveinai Lanah, I am a transformational Public-speaking coach. After overcoming so many challenges in my life be it health and depression through conscious living, self-work, and investing in myself, I choose to help people overcome the self-limiting beliefs or the beliefs that society has imposed upon them, and help them tap into their uniqueness and live with intensity.
To help them find their voice and speak their truth without fear of being judged. To assist them to improve personally and communicate with authenticity. To create a tribe of social transformers who want to be the change and make the world a better place to live in.
Welcome home! Thank you for passing by, I am honored and blessed to have you here. I truly appreciate and value your time. I feel you are here today for a reason.
WHERE I AM FROM?
I was born in a beautiful village in Purul, Manipur, India surrounded by forests, mountains, paddy fields, fresh air, fresh water, and organic food. A community where I see no begging bowls, nurtured by kind people and a healthy, loving family environment.
I grew up as a happy child and enjoyed abundant love, generosity, and kindness even though the financial resources were scarce. Excel at school and college, participated in many debates, speeches, essay writing, and singing, and won many accolades.
2011, graduated with 2nd Rank in Sociology, the Best Outgoing Girl Student along with many other accolades, I was confident enough that I would be able to do whatever I wanted in life. So, I chose to pursue one of the toughest exams in the world, the IAS Exam.
2013 October, enrolled in IAS Coaching Institute, Vajiram, and Ravi (New Delhi). Gave a few attempts, but could not clear it.
Being ashamed of asking for financial help from my family, I started working in the MNCs to take care of myself while preparing for the exam.
MY HOT MESS/MY ROCK BOTTOM
The situation has it, I have to leave the job and go back to the village as my father is seriously ill.
One month after I came home, my father breathed his last longing to see me do something in life. I stood there in front of the dead body of my father and felt like my heart was squeezed until I could not breathe anymore, I could feel the numbness in my body and felt as if my whole world went for a toss. I saw the hope to make my father happy come crashing down just right in front of my face, a total failure. I have never felt so hopeless and worthless in my whole life.
Then comes the pandemic and I have to take care of my mother as she has no one to be with.
A few months after my daddy died, one of my brothers-in-law died in an accident while on duty and left behind my illiterate sister with all their children.
With continuous challenging situations, failures after failures, the burn of an abusive relationship, and, the death of my father, I fell into depression.
My mother would ask me to go out and hang out with friends but I choose to stay in my bedroom and kitchen most of the time. I chose not to show or tell my mother about my depression because she was going through a lot too after she lost the love of her life of more than 50 years.
Cut off all the contacts, and shut in my own room, many times I would cry myself to sleep. I went through it all alone without telling anyone about my depression because I felt that people would just laugh at me and judge me.
I felt the Rock Bottom in my life not knowing what to do and where to ask for help. I was broke and broken.
It was lonely, painful, and horrible. I was a hot MESS.
I felt as if I had entered a dark tunnel where I would never be able to get out of.
MY BREAKTHROUGH
It came to a point one day that, I realized, I was sick and tired of my own stuck and became dead hungry for my growth. And that I should get back to where I have always been, joyful, successful, and outgoing, I started finding solutions, found my mentors, learned from them, did what they told me with devotion, and finally reached my breakthrough.
I finally found my peace, getting up every day to do what I love. Invested hundreds of dollars in my growth, and spent Christmas and New Year alone learning new exciting things from my mentors. I am a joyful, more loving, more spiritual, and inspired human being now.
The story that always Inspires me
I attended a Personal Development course for a month (2009, June) and came across a story that stuck with me like glue forever.
The life of an eagle.
Do you know how many years does an eagle live?
It has lived for 70 years. However, when it reached 40 years, they had to make a tough decision. To DIE or to go through a painful process of CHANGE and live for 30 more years.
At 40, their feathers become heavy, and thick, and no longer support them in flying.
Its beak becomes bent, and its long and flexible Talons become thick and do not support them in grabbing their prey which is their lifeline for survival.
The CHANGE requires the eagle to fly to a high rocky mountaintop, stay, and knock its beak against a rock until it plucks it out and bleeds.
Then the eagle waits for the new beak to grow back after which it will pluck out its talons. When its talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking its old-aged feathers.
After all these, the eagle takes its famous flight of REBIRTH and LIVES for 30 more years!
I reflect upon the story again after a long time, and I realised my life is the same as that of an eagle. I saw many people after trying and failing to do something choose to go back home and do nothing, but I don’t want to be in that category. Therefore, I allow myself to be inconvenienced because I want to grow, be open enough to unlearn many things adapt myself to new changes, and stand ‘ON’ the past and not ‘IN’ it. I know transformation is painful sometimes but I have to get rid of things in life that no longer serve my growth, be it people, beliefs, places, etc.
WHY THIS MISSION?
Well, you may wonder why this mission is now. Maybe because I have nothing to do in life or that I have no other option.
To that, I unapologetically and with conviction say NO, it’s never because of that. I never had a problem speaking in Public since my childhood. I have hosted 100s of formal events from society functions to college, Youth organizations, etc. However, I never knew people have issues speaking in public and have a fear to speak up about what they truly believe in and that I could help them.
I have cut myself off for a few years from everyone, social gatherings, and any associations because I was overwhelmed by my failures and negative self-talk. As I start preparing for my courses, I feel at home and peace within myself. I know that this is what I am good at and something that I’ll never be tired of doing till I die. Something that I am proud of doing and that my coming generations will be proud of.
WHAT I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW NOW
For a long time, I have allowed what people say about me to become part of my life and start believing that. I know how it feels to forget who you were because you are being continuously talked down to, that you look ugly, that you are useless, a master at failures, shameless, and look so old as if you are in your 50s while you are in your 30s.
Saying Yes when I should have said no, and saying no when I should have said Yes. Feeling hopeless in the 30s without achieving anything in particular and people started looking at you with their judgemental eyes.
Let me tell you without shame today that in the age of the internet, no age is too old to start anything.
If you just turned 18 or are in your early 20s, I’d like to tell you that you have an amazing life ahead of you, embrace the privilege, and don’t waste your time like I did, not knowing what to do when it needed to be done and at the right time.
I have overcome all the shame, blame, and wholeheartedly embrace my past, learned to love myself, forgive myself and speak up with conviction and without fear of being judged because I choose to speak my truth always.
I choose spirituality over religion.
I am open to learning as I coach. I would never attach myself to the title ‘Expert’ because that sounds too Bossy to me but I am passionate to teach people whatever I know, and things that help me get rid of my own stuck.
As I look back I realize, it’s beautiful when you look down upon Life’s Traffic from the top not when you are stuck there. You learned to be grateful for all the mess you went through.
I choose to use my voice and live my life to uplift humanity.
I am on the Mission to help 10,00,000 people find themselves, and their voices, and speak with impact, to live fully, blissfully, and Intensely.
I know there is a sea of coaches in the world but we choose the coach with whom we can resonate.
As you have come here today, I’d like to connect with you on a personal level if you can resonate with me.
I want to welcome you into my family of brave, change-makers who are not afraid to uplift other human beings.
I want to uphold you till you find your breakthrough. To cheer you on in your journey of self-discovery and transformation.
You are Grace. You are a Possibility. I’ll see you soon.
To your Breakthrough,
Paveinai Lanah